Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
