So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Randomize
