I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
