Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
