New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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