I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
