Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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