you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
