is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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