They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
