No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
