All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize