What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
