That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
