kristin has been a bad kristin
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
