I hope mine doesn't look like that
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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