I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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