I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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