My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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