the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
