his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Semen is not good for contacts.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
