drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
