this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
