I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Someone came in the potted fern
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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