Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
