Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
