I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
