i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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