I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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