I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
