you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
