Having a random hookup so left but love u
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
