ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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