i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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