Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
