OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
