did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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