I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
