it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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