when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
