I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
