yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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