I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think your dad took our porno
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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