Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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