I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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