ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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