My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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