whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
