This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
