Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
