I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sorry about my life...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize