I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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