I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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