I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
