I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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