I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
