he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
