Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
