I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize