M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
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